Having siblings was never my choice. Everyday, despite anything I do, I have four siblings. During my early childhood I very often disputed the fact that they were my siblings. Being that I didn't really like anyone from the age of eleven till the age of thirteen, I tried to disown all of my siblings at one point or another. Despite all of my extensive efforts at that time, they remain my siblings. During my terrible preteen and teenage years, I would never have thought that I would have become as close to my two youngest sisters as I am now. The relationship I have built with them has become something that is truly a gift. I only wish I had realized just how much of a gift it was before I left for college.
I have no problem admitting that I cried my eyes out once my family left. As a self proclaimed Mamma's boy and a homebody, I like home and all of the comforts associated with it. Seeing my parents leave was tough, but saying goodbye to my sisters Anna and Julia broke my heart. They sobbed before they were even close to leaving, but when my parents had to pry my sister from my waist, all I can say was that I was unprepared. Since I said goodbye to my sisters I have talked to them almost four days a week, every week. Hearing their excitement in their voices is quite honestly the best way to start and finish my day.
A few days ago, I received a package in the mail containing the usual food items. This time, however, I was lucky enough to get two letters and two stuffed animals from Anna and Julia. In the letters they wrote how much they missed me, how they couldn't wait to visit, and that I needed to make sure I fed the stuffed animals everyday. This has to be one of the best moments of my career as a brother. I didn't realize until then the impact and importance I had in their lives. We all know how we feel about our family members, but what we don't know is how they feel about us.
Coming to the realization that I meant that much to them has had a profound effect on me. When I talk to them I truly listen to their daily lives. I try to get involved, and feel their excitement, and share in their happiness, and often times sadness. I understand the gift I have in them, and I understand their love. I wish I had known all of this before. I wish it hadn't taken so many years to understand the true depth of the relationship. Yet in learning this through separation, I have found myself. I am many things to many people, but at the end of the day, my true identity is as a family member. As we struggle to find out who we are in a very chaotic world, step back and think about your family. Put more emphasis on your family life, because family is our true origin and identity.
Tim, I love reading your blogs! The reason why is because even though it is very sentimental, it is very heart felt. A lot of people can consider you a role model due to the positive impact that you have on your siblings. We lost family values too! A lot of people in society stopped eating at the dinning room table to talk about every day issues. Siblings are more attached to their own personal issues now instead of investing in others. So, keep up the phenomenal work.
ReplyDeleteTim,
ReplyDeleteYou've included some great points in this post. Not taking family for granted is so hard in our society where they are always so "close by" with texts and phone calls being so accessible. Knowing where you're from can truly have a major impact on where you'll go in life.
This is so cute. I have three older brothers who were all very sad when I left for school so I understand what you mean about family and not taking them for granted. Being the youngest with a brother 8 years older than me I can also relate to what you mean about not getting closer to your siblings until you were getting ready to leave for school since me and my oldest brother didn't really start hanging out until this year. How old are your sisters?
ReplyDeleteThis post is so sweet and so true. I'm the youngest of 3, and when I was younger I would hang around my brother all the time. Literally all the time. When he left for college I cried almost the whole way home so I understand the point of view of your little sisters. Where did you put the stuffed animals they sent you? I really hope you're feeding them...
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